This time last year my book, The Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need, was published by Troubador.

 

It seems like SUCH a long time ago. Yet what has happened in that time?

 

• Books sold: a handful. Mostly to friends and people that know me.
• Books given away or sent, speculatively: LOADS.
• Interviews on radio/podcasts: three
• Additional book written, now turned into a complete programme that won’t stop growing: one.
• Sets of stickers designed: one.
• Badges designed: one.

 

Social media posts: NONE.

 

I’m rather proud of that last point. Ever since I knew the book was going to be published, I’d been concerned about all the social media channels I’d have to be on. All the ‘content’ I’d have to create. All the hacks I’d have to follow to be able to post so much and so frequently. I’d listed ALL the channels I was going to post on into my book. I had to do it.

 

I stressed a lot about this.

 

I stressed a lot mainly because I’m not really a social media person. I’m not on …anything. I don’t really understand social media. I don’t really get it. It’s not me. So. I stressed. A lot.

 

I wrote out loads of plans and templates and lists and content ideas. None of that was difficult. What was difficult, was the bit I didn’t do organically: posting on social media.

 

But now, a year on, I couldn’t care less about social media. I realised that feeling I should do something, often meant that I didn’t really want to do it. I also, eventually, realised that if I didn’t do the thing I didn’t want to do (in my case social media posting), the world didn’t stop. I didn’t miss anything. And I felt SOOO much better. I stopped beating myself up about the shoulds.

 

This month’s message is all about the SHOULDs in life.

 

If you need the short version let me give you a visual:

should

 

As I have said before: if there’s a ‘should’ in your life, then you also have a good reason why you’re not doing it.

 

When I thought about it: my good reason for not doing social media was because I didn’t see the value in it. As a non-user of social media, I didn’t get why people used it, or even how the interactions worked. Truth is: had I started social media campaigns they would have been rubbish. It’s not an authentic medium of communication for me.

 

Turns out my resistance to posting on social media was spot on. I don’t miss out and I don’t miss the guilt from the ‘should’.

 

Let’s now focus on my Triangle of newsletter topics:

 

Concept: What have I been learning and thinking about?

 

I learned a lot AGAIN. It seems the learning doesn’t stop.

 

As you might recall, I’ve been writing a new and expanded The Wandering Lightbulb programme. It’s getting bigger and bigger as I’ve added more resources and thought of new exercises and activities.

 

BUT

 

I could have done it better. I could have been more switched on. Dear reader: I am a YouTube addict. That fact alone has impeded my progress with everything I have written and produced in recent months.

 

And yet.

 

The addiction is very recent. I haven’t always needed background noise when writing. I don’t need music on, or the radio chirruping away in another room. I can work in a busy office, but prefer home and silence when I’m creating something. I was astonished to find that I now struggle to turn off YouTube and get down to work.

 

It’s the only thing I struggle with. I can look at the blank page and get going, an empty canvas doesn’t deter me, I’m not often at a loss as to what I need to do next. So you can imagine my surprise wfhen I had to admit that I find it hard to turn off You Tube so I can focus on some deep work.

 

But I got it sorted.

 

ANOTHER truth is I love writing and creating. When I’ve had a productive day and believe I have created something worthwhile, the feeling is amazing. I hear myself saying ‘I LOVE doing this’. That feeling doesn’t happen when I’ve got half an ear listening to some waffling podcast. SO I use this ‘amazing feeling’ knowledge to suggest to myself just one, tiny action: turn off YouTube and see how your day goes. If it’s non-productive and you are producing rubbish, by all means, put YouTube back on again.

 

Once I’ve said that to myself, turned off YouTube and got down  to work, I never put it back on again …

 

System: What have I been making or organising?

 

Since I launched my local community newsletter for the streets around my house, I have been talking with neighbours about potential community ventures we could set up. It turns out that, while most people like to belong to things like book clubs etc, they don’t really want to set them up …

 

We had plenty of ideas such as an art-maker meet, neighbour cafe, language swap, games night and book club for example. I asked for people to tell me what they’re proposing to set up, so I can put it into the next newsletter to let people know.

 

Nothing has come in.

 

It reminded me of the ‘advice to a younger me’ triangle:

 

 

It’s that bottom, left part of the triangle that I was reminded of: Find and create the world you want to live in. So, if no one in my local community is ready to step up and start anything just yet, I’m going to create and run something that I would like to belong to.

 

I will keep you posted …

 

Energy: What have I been inspired or energised by?

 

 

 

I recorded this podcast with the lovely Steph late last year. I have to give her a shout out here as I know some readers of this newsletter have aspirations to write a book. You need Steph 🙂

 

When I was mulling over writing The Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need, I needed someone to help me craft its shape. I needed someone to ask the right questions about what I was trying to achieve. I needed a professional to think about what my potential market might want. I needed someone like Steph so that’s how we met.

 

The quality of my book is largely because of Steph’s early shaping of it.

 

Click on the image to hear our chat.

 

Thoughts for TWIC March 25:

 

• What are the ‘shoulds’ lurking in the back of your mind?

 

• What do you have lingering guilt about? Believe me, it’s time to deal with it.

 

• What is missing from your life? What could you start, however small, that would start to create a world you would like to live in?

 

• What tiny message to yourself would impact your life? If you record how great you feel after visiting the gym, you can play it back yourself next time you’re not motivated to go.

 

• Do you have a cheerleader in your life? Someone who just loves and supports everything you do, no matter how wild? They’re not people who talk us out of stuff, or ask us if we know what we’re doing, or look a bit doubtful as we are pouring out our ideas. They’re the people who trust us to just be who we are and love us for it.

 

The next TWIC will be arriving in your inbox on April 5th.

 

I’ll see you there 😉

 

As ever, I’m always available for questions and comments and you can leave your thoughts here or, if you’d like The What If Club delivered fresh into your inbox on the first Saturday of the month, you can join me here. A very warm welcome is always waiting 🙂